dad-jokes
/dad-jokes547
we’re here to learn new jokes, basically so we can embarrass our kids in front of their friends 
What do you call a wolf who already knows?
Aware wolf
Aware wolf
Why does Sweden put barcodes on their Naval ships?
So they can Scandinavian
So they can Scandinavian
It’s very rare that a defibrillator fails.
But when it does, no one is shocked.
But when it does, no one is shocked.
What’s the award for dentist of the year?
A little plaque
A little plaque
What did Yoda say when he saw himself in 4K video?
HDMI
HDMI
What did the psychiatrist say to the patient who came in wearing Saran Wrap pants?
Clearly I can see you’re nuts
Clearly I can see you’re nuts
Air used to be free at the gas station.
Now it costs $1. Know why?
Inflation
Now it costs $1. Know why?
Inflation
Why should you never tell a secret in a
corn field?
Because corn has ears and cornstalk.
corn field?
Because corn has ears and cornstalk.
I walked in on my wife sleeping with her personal trainer.
I just said: “Ok this isn’t working out”
I just said: “Ok this isn’t working out”
My ex-wife was struck by lightning.
She’s now my current wife.
She’s now my current wife.
time to get a laugh with some dad jokes!
I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants......but I couldn't find any
Why didn’t the melons get married?
Because they cantaloupe.
Because they cantaloupe.
What do clouds wear under their pants?
Thunder wear
Thunder wear
Why did the treadmill break up with the runner?
It felt like they were just going around in circles.
It felt like they were just going around in circles.
WHEN YOU TEACH A WOLF TO MEDITATE, HE BECOMES...
AWARE WOLF
AWARE WOLF
it’s a gloomy wednesday here so time to lift spirits with some laughs
https://dad-jokes-vert.vercel.app
https://dad-jokes-vert.vercel.app
What do you call a soldier with no legs?
Army
Army
what do cows like to do for fun?
go to the mooooovies
go to the mooooovies
Did you hear about the baker who died when he couldn’t find his bread dough?
I guess he really kneaded it.
I guess he really kneaded it.
How to call homosexual mayor od French city who spends a lot of time in front of the screen?
Gay maire
Gay maire
I just spilled all of the pancake batter on my wife.
You could say she’s my batter half.
You could say she’s my batter half.
I'm furious that I can't write out 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.
In fact, I M LI VI D.
In fact, I M LI VI D.
Scientists have begun testing the effects of marijuana on sea birds.
So far they’ve left no tern unstoned
So far they’ve left no tern unstoned