dad-jokes

/dad-jokes457

we’re here to learn new jokes, basically so we can embarrass our kids in front of their friends 

Air used to be free at the gas station.
Now it costs $1. Know why?

Inflation
Why should you never tell a secret in a
corn field?

Because corn has ears and cornstalk.
I walked in on my wife sleeping with her personal trainer.

I just said: “Ok this isn’t working out”
My ex-wife was struck by lightning.

She’s now my current wife.
time to get a laugh with some dad jokes!
I went to buy a pair of camouflage pants......but I couldn't find any
Why didn’t the melons get married?

Because they cantaloupe.
What do clouds wear under their pants?

Thunder wear
Why did the treadmill break up with the runner?

It felt like they were just going around in circles.
WHEN YOU TEACH A WOLF TO MEDITATE, HE BECOMES...

AWARE WOLF
it’s a gloomy wednesday here so time to lift spirits with some laughs

https://dad-jokes-vert.vercel.app
What do you call a soldier with no legs?


Army
what do cows like to do for fun?

go to the mooooovies
Did you hear about the baker who died when he couldn’t find his bread dough?

I guess he really kneaded it.
How to call homosexual mayor od French city who spends a lot of time in front of the screen?

Gay maire
I just spilled all of the pancake batter on my wife.

You could say she’s my batter half.
I'm furious that I can't write out 1, 1000, 51, 6, and 500 in Roman numerals.

In fact, I M LI VI D.
Scientists have begun testing the effects of marijuana on sea birds.

So far they’ve left no tern unstoned
what do you call a small mother?

a mini-mum
What's a cat's favorite drink to order at a bar?

A Whisker Sour.

https://dad-jokes-vert.vercel.app
Trucks act like a rocket after 10 bottles of hopeum!!
do you like dad jokes?

upon request by my fren, @fercaggiano, i built this fun frame

https://dad-jokes-vert.vercel.app/
Alright I’ll bite….

What's the difference between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girlfriend with a feather, perverted is when you use the whole bird.