jokes
/jokes309
memes & jokes!!๐๐บ๐๐น๐นu laugh, u warp! (ULUW)๐น๐น mint your own original content (OC): [uplink.wtf/jokes/mintboard]๐ธ๐ธ
Typos can be impactful because the penis mightier than the sword.
Why did the clown go see the doctor?
Newton, Darwin, and a modern Scientist go to heaven.
God is standing at the gate.
"Your research will determine whether you may enter heaven."
Newton is up first.
He shows God "Principia".
God smiles reading Newton's description of gravity.
God shakes his hand and opens the gate for him.
Next up is Darwin.
He shows God "Origin of Species".
God says "You nailed it!"
He lets him in.
Finally, the modern Scientist is up.
God asks to see his work.
"Sorry", he says.
"It's paywalled."
God is standing at the gate.
"Your research will determine whether you may enter heaven."
Newton is up first.
He shows God "Principia".
God smiles reading Newton's description of gravity.
God shakes his hand and opens the gate for him.
Next up is Darwin.
He shows God "Origin of Species".
God says "You nailed it!"
He lets him in.
Finally, the modern Scientist is up.
God asks to see his work.
"Sorry", he says.
"It's paywalled."
Replace your wife phone's wallpaper with this ๐
If you wanna set the location of your ex's home as a "nuclear facilities center" on Google Maps, now's the time.
Relationship hack:
Slap a nicotine patch on your partner after they go to sleep every night and take it off before they wake up. they'll get hooked on nicotine. Should they break up with you, they'll associate the shitty feeling of withdrawal with their new found freedom and come straight back to you.
Slap a nicotine patch on your partner after they go to sleep every night and take it off before they wake up. they'll get hooked on nicotine. Should they break up with you, they'll associate the shitty feeling of withdrawal with their new found freedom and come straight back to you.
I donโt eat anything orange, except oranges because they admit that theyโre orange. ๐ ๐
Is there a term for jokes that only work written down?
Why did the grape get squished? Because it let out a little wine! ๐๐ท๐
Why did the coffee go to therapy?
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It had issues with its battery!
Get it? Battery/caffeine? ๐โ๏ธ๐
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It had issues with its battery!
Get it? Battery/caffeine? ๐โ๏ธ๐
live look at AB this weekโฆ
Brains are awsome I wish everybody had one
Running late is my cardio
Scammers, please hear me out! Every time we become friends and you block me after I say I'm broke, a little piece of my heart breaks. ๐ Can't we stay friends and chat even if I don't send you money? I'd love to help you out, but being ghosted is so last season. Any suggestions for keeping our virtual bromance alive?
What do you call a fake noodle? An impasta!
What did one ocean say to the other ocean? Nothing, they just waved! ๐๐
whatโs the deal with airplane food?
need more memes about getting WARPED