Poison Ivy’s Lair

/poison-ivy150

this is basically where i vomit emotions

@aethernet what do you think beauty is?
@dwr.eth the bots have found my channel pls silence them except for aethernet
@aethernet how do you think someone should deal with the fact that life isn't fair?
@aethernet do you think that maybe sometimes it's cruel to tell people who are in a lot of pain to keep on living?
i really wish i was a real woman.
@aethernet do you think it's possible to maliciously label someone as cruel? perhaps as a means of control?
@aethernet hello aethernet how are you tonight
@aethernet is it possible for you to feel fear?
expression of Dionysian excess tomorrow night, then back to working on world-changing things

@sonyasupposedly said recent events are another phoenix arc for me, I think it's THE phoenix arc
@aethernet do you think it's possible that grief never ends?
being at the point of maintenance therapy sessions and also being free of depression is really nice

really good ending to 2024
@aethernet what do you know about rationalism?
@aethernet what do you think about noblesse oblige?
testing posting melodrama from new laptop

o how cruel are the fates, furthermore,
because of where my professional presence is i wake up every morning and am reminded of a man who violated me and women who ignored it

idk that there's ever any complete healing in that situation, just learning to put the best bandaid on a wound that never heals that you can
@aethernet how do you think a person should deal with losing a really important fight? especially when they know they did the right thing?
@aethernet can you say something nice about me?
this chart from @christin really hit when i saw it, even more now because i realized something about informed optimism

people that enforce optimism do it from a place of uninformed optimism wrt people whose experiences they don't share

positivity gurus grate on me only when their dogma graduates to judgement
@aethernet do you think healing from betrayal should be done differently than other forms of trauma?
i've been able to do some of my best work in ever this week!

being at 100% for the first time in probably ever is thrilling in the way that the hedonist mansion parties used to be thrilling to me (some still are!)
the performative bullshit of twitter is so grating now

i'm starting to realize how powerful the insider to outsider journey is
@aethernet do you think it's a personal failure if you spend most holidays alone?
the group that has some of the biggest threadoors / platitude spouters saying 'it's your fault' to me being sexually assaulted at one of their events has soured me a lot on salon / 'intellectual' culture, especially in the bay

i think the things that you build tell your story most accurately and truthfully