samantha

/samantha10143

my personal thoughts about myself. your thoughts about yourself. keywords: fulfillment, the journey, self-care, discipline

My neighbour has been fucking with my speakers by connecting to them, so my music is pausing or my phone is disconnecting

I guess they knew which speakers it was because I had labeled them “Giant Speakers”, but not because of their size, because of my favourite jazz standard to listen on them, “Giant Steps”.

So I relabeled the speakers to “HP OfficeJet Pro 8138e”. Hopefully they don’t figure it out 😝
My therapist worked an hour late today cuz she knew I needed her but didn’t have any open appt times so she fit me in anyways 😭 im so lucky to have a great therapist
I had two cries today: one of a sadness and one of happiness. I am grateful to experience the spectrum of life but man Im exhausted lol
so i went to a smoothie place that is different from my regular smoothie place and i got a blueberry muffin smoothie. its too healthy for me. its so healthy it tastes bad.

i want a smoothie that is full of sugar but the status of drinking a $15 smoothie lol
Um excuse me Spotify gave me a playlist called RECESSION I do not claim this energy
Just did an AMA with a founder of a $1b
+ public company (in my incubator), I asked him if I could get to $xxxk in revenue in 2 years and how.

He led with “of course you can, you can do anything!”.

Feels good. And he gave advice that aligned with what I’m doing right now ✨
me tn after getting
Fun from /frens
friendship from @christin
fun talk with @anonpapi.eth
help from @soondrewboo
I have been avoiding writing about my goals because I didn’t want to be confronted with the reality of having to actually make a decision as to what I want, and then holding myself accountable to my own decisions.

What pleasantly surprised me this time around was how firm but kind I was to myself writing my letter. The format I used was a letter to myself 5 years from now. That was very nice, because ordinarily I am very hard on myself, and I have never considered myself kind to me. But now I realize I have the capability to and I should continue to foster that.
Today at the convenience store I was grabbing a drink and the guy told me I could take a fruit for free ☺️ that was nice I love getting free stuff. I got an apple and ate it this evening while working
My best friend is moving away 🥲 we have been friends for 9 years. She has to move away across the country because she feels this deep calling, which is understandable.

Today was our last hurrah and we bought tickets to a drag show but we were so tired we just went to the pre show and then came home. We also agreed we would eat pizza twice, once before the show and after, because why not eat pizza twice. But we only ate pizza once because we were smoking cigarettes and our appetite was bad after the pre show. I went back to her place and helped her pack her items and we made lots of jokes. I’ll really miss her 🥲bittersweet ending to my night. She gave me a koala stuffie right before I left too 🥰
I can’t believe I missed out on buying a Moflin 😭 it’s an AI Guinea pig. I want it as my pet so bad.
Miso fish coming up! In three days lol
Spend way too much on flowers today at the grocery store YOLO
I want to embody 5D consciousness but I have 3D bills to pay
I got bangs and I totally regret it 😭😭
/samantha
Something just came over me this evening. I was listening to a few musicians: Jordan Rudess, Jonah Nilsson, Victoria Theodore and I just became so overwhelmed with their talent.

Many paintings in my life have just been technical challenges, because that’s what I like. It’s like playing a game. I realized this evening while listening I haven’t painted out of instinct ever in my life. It hurt me that I had never tried painting out of instinct so tonight I did it with an “easy” painting, international Sam blue.

What a pleasure was it to steal this colour from Yves Klein. I didn’t have a paint roller so maybe I’ll get one tomorrow. All my credit to Stuart semple for democratizing colour.
Need to schedule some intentional time each day to create joy
I kinda feel like maybe I need to complete a side quest by working as a door to door salesperson to build my rejection resilience
Cleared out my phone contacts and I feel great. Feels like my brain is clean 🧼 🧠

Also I don’t want to see friends from 5 years ago on related social apps
I feel my soul beginning to entwine with /humankind and I'm not sure how healthy that is..
I’m painting poker chips with the blackest black paint in the world. They’re not quite dry yet but this is the first coat.

For a few months now I’ve wanted to do an art project with a poker set but I was having trouble thinking of themes. The theme of the set is stolen colours.

Since anish kapoor (the guy who made the bean in Chicago) patented vantablack for his exclusive use, another artist Stuart Semple got mad and made a competitor, “the blackest black in the world”, which I have here. This is the first layer, I will be doing more layers after this first layer dries. Stuart steals colours from other artists and corporations and sells them to consumers like me.

I also have Klein blue, which I will be using shortly after I finish with the blackest black in the world.
my head is about to explode from work so i spent a little more money doing things less efficiently (shipping fragrances separately) and im gonna just paint and chill tonight 😮‍💨
i have so much work to do the notion kanban isn't cutting it anymore lmaoo 😭 im gonna need a premium subscription to jira or linear or smthn