autism
/autism327
A dedicated channel for parents of children on the autism spectrum and individuals on the spectrum themselves. Supportive and informative environment where everyone can learn, share, and grow.
I caught myself masking today.
Today was my makeup and hair trial for the wedding. (I’m usually not vain, but the tldr is I did my own for my engagement photos and did not love it.)
Another girl was behind me getting her H&MU done also. And when they finished, they did a demo reel with one key light and suddenly squealed (!!) at the results. Yes, complete and utter gasps 😱🤩
I was a bit curious after both my stylists went over and echoed the sentiment. I thought “dang this has got to be some incredible shit!” But I still hadn’t seen anything due to having my back turned away.
They finally remembered I was there, and when they showed me the vid… I was so confused. My brain was like, “uhm, what exactly was so good about this? The makeup? The hair? the lighting?” 🧐 She was pretty but it was unclear to me what warranted the squeals.
Then the good old mask came straight up: “OMagaad. Stunning. Great job ladies” and I did what I know I’m supposed to do to avoid awkwardness.
Sigh.
Today was my makeup and hair trial for the wedding. (I’m usually not vain, but the tldr is I did my own for my engagement photos and did not love it.)
Another girl was behind me getting her H&MU done also. And when they finished, they did a demo reel with one key light and suddenly squealed (!!) at the results. Yes, complete and utter gasps 😱🤩
I was a bit curious after both my stylists went over and echoed the sentiment. I thought “dang this has got to be some incredible shit!” But I still hadn’t seen anything due to having my back turned away.
They finally remembered I was there, and when they showed me the vid… I was so confused. My brain was like, “uhm, what exactly was so good about this? The makeup? The hair? the lighting?” 🧐 She was pretty but it was unclear to me what warranted the squeals.
Then the good old mask came straight up: “OMagaad. Stunning. Great job ladies” and I did what I know I’m supposed to do to avoid awkwardness.
Sigh.
I hate summers
I can't work when temperatures are over 30 celsius
I still have bills to pay though
I can't work when temperatures are over 30 celsius
I still have bills to pay though
my masking involves lots of smiling. which is weird because i can go 🎭 in two seconds. sometimes i smile at stuff i shouldn't smile at then i cringe
I feel like neurodivergent hour should be a thing. In markets, gyms and whatever places they think music is a must.
sometimes I give up on grocery shopping bc the music is too loud or has terrible lyrics. I often carry my ear plugs but sometimes it's like I have nothing on..
sometimes I give up on grocery shopping bc the music is too loud or has terrible lyrics. I often carry my ear plugs but sometimes it's like I have nothing on..
each month i put on a new mask
I have many problems with my own image.
Who I think I should look like is very different from who I am comfortable being.
I hate haircuts that make me look older.
Or clothes that make me look serious.
Even though I'm in my late 20s, inside I'm almost a decade younger.
I wanna wear comfy clothes. I don't want to look serious but I feel so displaced.
So aside from the image dysphoria, I have a hard time existing and looking at myself in pictures or in the mirror. It's like two different people. And I keep trying to make them both meet halfway, but it seems impossible!
For example, I tried letting my hair grow bc I'd look more adult but it's been 4 months and I wanna shave the sides and blonde it. This makes me look 10 years younger. It's good to enjoy life but makes me looked down when it comes to work as I'm not "so serious".
The hardest thing about giving up on masking is that we can't do it selectively. Yes, fuck the stereotypes. But sometimes it's not that easy
Who I think I should look like is very different from who I am comfortable being.
I hate haircuts that make me look older.
Or clothes that make me look serious.
Even though I'm in my late 20s, inside I'm almost a decade younger.
I wanna wear comfy clothes. I don't want to look serious but I feel so displaced.
So aside from the image dysphoria, I have a hard time existing and looking at myself in pictures or in the mirror. It's like two different people. And I keep trying to make them both meet halfway, but it seems impossible!
For example, I tried letting my hair grow bc I'd look more adult but it's been 4 months and I wanna shave the sides and blonde it. This makes me look 10 years younger. It's good to enjoy life but makes me looked down when it comes to work as I'm not "so serious".
The hardest thing about giving up on masking is that we can't do it selectively. Yes, fuck the stereotypes. But sometimes it's not that easy
In Brazil autists are considered disabled for any legal matter, which means I get to use preferential lines, special car parking and half the price for me and my support in all artistic events.
However sometimes I have to make myself realize it is my right to be there.
Parking is distressing for me and I avoid using the special spots because I keep thinking about those who are physically disabled.
But in fact, it's not my fault they haven't got enough autistic spots.
I should accept my rights and make good use of it. I need to stop diminishing my autism.
However sometimes I have to make myself realize it is my right to be there.
Parking is distressing for me and I avoid using the special spots because I keep thinking about those who are physically disabled.
But in fact, it's not my fault they haven't got enough autistic spots.
I should accept my rights and make good use of it. I need to stop diminishing my autism.
I get overwhelmed easily, mainly if we have a temperature issue.
Anything over 32 celsius is enough to make me moody, stressed, have migraines and stop working correctly.
Like, I cant talk if it's too hot. Or be happy if it's too hot. Or work if it's too hot. I will also be very tired when it's too hot and i'll have earplugs on bc sensorial overwhelm is so big i'd rather be numb.
This also happens when someone opens the curtains all of a sudden/in a single time, when a loud sound (like a spoon over a pot, or metal no the floor) happens and when I have to visit crowded spaces.
And it doesn't matter if I was ok five minutes ago. If one of my senses is overwhelmed, all become overwhelmed.
This isn't easy to balance. A hot day can take me to dark places.
Anything over 32 celsius is enough to make me moody, stressed, have migraines and stop working correctly.
Like, I cant talk if it's too hot. Or be happy if it's too hot. Or work if it's too hot. I will also be very tired when it's too hot and i'll have earplugs on bc sensorial overwhelm is so big i'd rather be numb.
This also happens when someone opens the curtains all of a sudden/in a single time, when a loud sound (like a spoon over a pot, or metal no the floor) happens and when I have to visit crowded spaces.
And it doesn't matter if I was ok five minutes ago. If one of my senses is overwhelmed, all become overwhelmed.
This isn't easy to balance. A hot day can take me to dark places.
i don’t think i read social cues correctly sometimes and that leads to a lot of misunderstandings
I've read a lot about autism and I don't think we talk enough about our hardships in regulating ourselves emotionally
When I have a breakdown it's a terrible breakdown
Anger? becomes outrage easily
I can go from blues to suicidal in 4 min
But most of the time I can be just..... blunt.
Having this abnormal pattern recognition system is a burden too. Because I know I am overreacting. I know people are getting hurt/tired but unless they leave me alone I can't stop myself.
When I have a breakdown it's a terrible breakdown
Anger? becomes outrage easily
I can go from blues to suicidal in 4 min
But most of the time I can be just..... blunt.
Having this abnormal pattern recognition system is a burden too. Because I know I am overreacting. I know people are getting hurt/tired but unless they leave me alone I can't stop myself.
If you’re a teacher and you know a kid is on the spectrum and you know they aren’t new to the school how about reaching out to the support staff for advice on managing the kid’s behaviors instead of sending accusatory emails to the parents.
nobody will look back on:
- your salary
- how busy you got
- how many hours of work you did
but all of us will look back on:
- how much autism you exuded
- how many random facts about obscure topics you knew
- how esoteric your philosophy was.
- your salary
- how busy you got
- how many hours of work you did
but all of us will look back on:
- how much autism you exuded
- how many random facts about obscure topics you knew
- how esoteric your philosophy was.
Left my house first time in 2 weeks. As I’ve been in the coding trenches.
Sensory overload.
Restaurant too loud and too many people. Music annoying me. Everyone looks ugly.
Sensory overload.
Restaurant too loud and too many people. Music annoying me. Everyone looks ugly.
