822910
Kat Shaw
@ndspiritualist #822910
AuDHD eclectic chaos witch in a neuraltypical world.
Business owner | Tarot reader
25 Follower 22 Following
Working on an oil for Samhain today. I got the initial herb infusion done. Now to add essential oils and go from there. I have some plans for some candles to go along with this, but they need some testing.
Lots of things to work towards and I'll be sharing pictures along the way!
Lots of things to work towards and I'll be sharing pictures along the way!
Getting into spooky season always has this feeling to it for me. The air getting cooler, but it's more then that. Something really does shift in the general vibe as we get closer to October. Really feeling it this year.
Anyone else?
Anyone else?
Yesterday I had noted that I find I really like dark carnival music. With that and my longing to be at Crossroads Village this year I've been thinking. Ren Festival... Crossroads at Halloween... the haunts... These are all places that I got to be freely weird. Places where who I am was enjoyed and celebrated rather than seen as annoying... or too much...
Funny when I think back to how I wanted to run away to the circus when I was younger. Starting to understand that deep down I knew it would be one of few places I would feel truly accepted and able to just... be.
Funny when I think back to how I wanted to run away to the circus when I was younger. Starting to understand that deep down I knew it would be one of few places I would feel truly accepted and able to just... be.
I'm not sure how many of you have had this same experience...
I am so angry right now. Twenty years of hunting... of trying something new with every new doctor and psychiatrist. Through horrible side effects and struggles... Now. Now I have found something that works for me. It feels like so much of my life has gone by. Friends I've lost because of things I could not help in that moment.
There is this feeling of mourning for my life. An anger and fury that it took so long. I missed out on so much because of this. It's a kind of hurt I can't really describe well, but I feel it's important to express. That other people like me don't feel alone in this feeling. I know it'll get better, but for right now, this is where I am.
I am so angry right now. Twenty years of hunting... of trying something new with every new doctor and psychiatrist. Through horrible side effects and struggles... Now. Now I have found something that works for me. It feels like so much of my life has gone by. Friends I've lost because of things I could not help in that moment.
There is this feeling of mourning for my life. An anger and fury that it took so long. I missed out on so much because of this. It's a kind of hurt I can't really describe well, but I feel it's important to express. That other people like me don't feel alone in this feeling. I know it'll get better, but for right now, this is where I am.
I know that these places make out hard in order to discourage people from taking advantage, but fuck do they make it really damn hard for those of us with legit problems too! Got a call today from a place saying they need me to reapply for ssi because they need papers from within six months... thing is I applied last year and only JUST started hearing back from them. I have gotten any kind of denial or anything either. Wtf is it with these places?
This has been the most uncertain my life has been in a long time. I have no idea if I'm moving in a couple weeks... no idea if another person is moving in... no idea about my own finances or future... and for once I'm kind of okay with it. Anxiety is there, for certain, but I'm not freaking out or crippled in ways I have been in the past.
I love drama so much *sarcasm* Turns out that the person I was trusting to talk to has been twisting things to make people look bad and the one I was super anxious about didn't actually say the things I was being told. This here is why I don't understand people. Wtf
I hate goat offices so much... this is a special kind of ND hell. Things booping... the sound of crackling wrappers. Children who don't know how to eat really crunchy foods with their mouths closed... I really need to learn to bring my headphones with me everywhere.
I have been finding that it's a lot easier to explain to people how my brain works in terms of computing. I'm not sure if that's more because it's how I internalize it or that I expect them to understand it better in those terms... either way it seems to work and if it works it isn't stupid.. right?
This is my gaming set up... cat included 60% of the time.
I am an animist. This means that I believe that everything has a spirit or energy to it. A vibe if you will. For me this is the reason crystals and herbs and basically everything can have some magical correspondence and use. Now, different people might vibe with a thing differently and that is okay! Someone made all this shit up at some point.
I came to this line of thought with molecular structure and that things are vibrating. Whether fast or slow depending on its state.
I came to this line of thought with molecular structure and that things are vibrating. Whether fast or slow depending on its state.
ADHD makes it really hard for me to function in day to day society. So... I am on medication to help with my executive function and other such things...
Now I'm tired so much of the time and my head feels like I'm not all the way in my body. Not sure how much of it is meds and how much of it is me, but I feel like I've just gone from one functionality problem to another.
Now I'm tired so much of the time and my head feels like I'm not all the way in my body. Not sure how much of it is meds and how much of it is me, but I feel like I've just gone from one functionality problem to another.
I really believe that people take magic way too seriously. On all sides...
The people who don't believe magic is real largely have it in their heads that people are talking about making something out of nothing. Closer to what people describe prayer as... I petition a deity, higher power, whatever for something and I'll get it with no effort.
Then the people who do believe in magic have all these rules on what is and isn't allowed or what counts as magic or is a real experience. Are there people out there who are making up stuff or having crazy experiences and then pushing them off as truth? Sure are, but come on... all of this is so personal. Going around telling people they are wrong on everything you don't agree with is just such a waste of time.
The people who don't believe magic is real largely have it in their heads that people are talking about making something out of nothing. Closer to what people describe prayer as... I petition a deity, higher power, whatever for something and I'll get it with no effort.
Then the people who do believe in magic have all these rules on what is and isn't allowed or what counts as magic or is a real experience. Are there people out there who are making up stuff or having crazy experiences and then pushing them off as truth? Sure are, but come on... all of this is so personal. Going around telling people they are wrong on everything you don't agree with is just such a waste of time.
Quartz, bloodstone, and moonstone
Something that I've always held near and fear to myself is the idea that perception creates reality. Even if it's only in your own attitude, but even that changes how people act around you an that ripples outward.
Magic is much the same. Sure, all the theater, herbs, crystals, and so on help... but only do fast as rooting the belief of your working in your mind. In the end, what you are doing is hacking your own brain. Implant a belief deeply and solidly? Boom... adjust your own reality. It's like reprogramming your own internal OS.
Think of it this way. You can tell yourself you want to do something and that can work for some... but if you do some kind of ritual with changing and singing and all that? You'll remember it... and the intention sticks.
Magic is much the same. Sure, all the theater, herbs, crystals, and so on help... but only do fast as rooting the belief of your working in your mind. In the end, what you are doing is hacking your own brain. Implant a belief deeply and solidly? Boom... adjust your own reality. It's like reprogramming your own internal OS.
Think of it this way. You can tell yourself you want to do something and that can work for some... but if you do some kind of ritual with changing and singing and all that? You'll remember it... and the intention sticks.
I've decided that I'm going to start posting about the things I'm going through learning. I do a lot of study on various magic systems and adapting them into modern times, technomancy, and the ND mind.
So, I don't think I ever posted any kind of real intro. Better late than never, right?
Name: Kat
Job: Apothecary
From: US
Onchain since: uhm.... now?
Likes: needy shit, cryptids, philosophy, witchy stuff, bending the world to my needs
Dislikes: dishonesty, fake people
Name: Kat
Job: Apothecary
From: US
Onchain since: uhm.... now?
Likes: needy shit, cryptids, philosophy, witchy stuff, bending the world to my needs
Dislikes: dishonesty, fake people
Belief is a powerful tool. Perhaps that is why changing many deeply held ones can be so terribly difficult. Not everyone wants to do the self examination... or have the curiosity about the world outside the bubble they exist in.
But changing our beliefs change our perspective and changing that changes our reality.
But changing our beliefs change our perspective and changing that changes our reality.
Good luck charm bottle
Contains:
Pink salt
Nutmeg: Luck, Money, Health
Cinnamon: Success, Healing, Protection
Basil: Wealth, Protection
Malachite: Protection, Balance, Positive Transformation
Amazonite: Clarity, Calming, Inner Peace
Contains:
Pink salt
Nutmeg: Luck, Money, Health
Cinnamon: Success, Healing, Protection
Basil: Wealth, Protection
Malachite: Protection, Balance, Positive Transformation
Amazonite: Clarity, Calming, Inner Peace
I find it funny how many people have this divide between technology and magic. What is the internet but a giant communication tool? What is it we are doing on social networks? Is that not well within the purview of any messenger god?
The gods are extensions of us and our world. Not the other way around. Their domains and character can shift and change with the times to grow along with us.
The gods are extensions of us and our world. Not the other way around. Their domains and character can shift and change with the times to grow along with us.
I got my Moxie Pass! Mint yours to be eligible for upcoming airdrops, grants, Fan Tokens and more! cc @betashop.eth @airstack.eth
Amazonite has a calm energy, helping to soothe feelings of anxiety and panic. It can help the nervous system to regulate emotional imbalance. It helps us to connect better with those strings us. Amazonite also is a stone of prosperity, helping you on your path of growth.
* Go to psych to get new medication. Get told I need to get blood work before she'll prescribe it to me. Odd, but okay.
* Get blood work done and have to have it sent in twice because apparently it didn't get entered into my file the first time.
* Have another appt with psych. She prescribes meds. Yay! Go to pharmacy.. meds were canceled. Wat... Call to the office says it was for non-compliance. Even more confused.
* Yet -another- appt with the psych. She says she canceled the medication because she needs blood work... which she has... then asks me why she doesn't see said medication in my blood work and I tell her because I haven't been taking it yet because she didn't prescribe it....
Wtf is wrong with the medical system that they can't even handle something this basic.
* Get blood work done and have to have it sent in twice because apparently it didn't get entered into my file the first time.
* Have another appt with psych. She prescribes meds. Yay! Go to pharmacy.. meds were canceled. Wat... Call to the office says it was for non-compliance. Even more confused.
* Yet -another- appt with the psych. She says she canceled the medication because she needs blood work... which she has... then asks me why she doesn't see said medication in my blood work and I tell her because I haven't been taking it yet because she didn't prescribe it....
Wtf is wrong with the medical system that they can't even handle something this basic.
Time for a body check in!
Close your eyes and how are you feeling in your body? What of those things are physically based and which are connected to your emotions?
What are those emotions? If you can name them... As you focus on them what is happening with your body? Are there changes? Are you finding connections between those emotions and those physical sensations?
Close your eyes and how are you feeling in your body? What of those things are physically based and which are connected to your emotions?
What are those emotions? If you can name them... As you focus on them what is happening with your body? Are there changes? Are you finding connections between those emotions and those physical sensations?
Taking some time for tea or on the balcony. Never fails to help me relax. Today is a honey black tea from Taiwan!
Either run forward and start something new or be the hermit and tell everyone to fuck off. Mmmmm I dunno...
Today has been a huge struggle. Tried to talk to the person who has been my partner for the last ten years only to get an 'okay' before they walked away. I feel so alone and so scared. I have no idea how long she's going to let me stay here before she finally just gets tired of me like so many people have. And right now I have no place to go... I don't know what I'm supposed to do other than sit and wait for things to happen.
I am here and sometimes watching the things coming over my feed I wonder if I'm going to find a place to fit in. Still going to push forward as always, but the worry is still there. I think it's just the RSD being really loud again.
Has anyone else had the experience of like struggling to get words out suddenly? Like it's getting harder to think and speak and I'm trying to figure out if it's due to my unmasking. Things weren't this hard before and I'm getting really frustrated by the whole ordeal.
Let's talk DBT therapy, specifically opposite action, and the ND mind.
Opposite action involves acting opposite of what you are feeling you want to. The issue that I, personally, have is I have delayed processing and figuring out what I'm feeling in the moment can be quite the challenge.
However, we can twist this and do some preparation ahead of time and through a different lens. Rather than "when I feel angry" do some body scanning and work off that. When my emotions make me feel shaky or sick... I do this. I have found that identifying those sensations easier than trying to define the emotion behind them.
Opposite action involves acting opposite of what you are feeling you want to. The issue that I, personally, have is I have delayed processing and figuring out what I'm feeling in the moment can be quite the challenge.
However, we can twist this and do some preparation ahead of time and through a different lens. Rather than "when I feel angry" do some body scanning and work off that. When my emotions make me feel shaky or sick... I do this. I have found that identifying those sensations easier than trying to define the emotion behind them.
For my fellow readers. How do you view reversed cards (if you use them)
Personally, I don't use the whole positive/ negative viewpoint. I listen to my own intuition, but tend to end up leaning more into an external/ internal system. When things are in reverse it's more of a looking inward and seeing how this applies to me more than external world.
Personally, I don't use the whole positive/ negative viewpoint. I listen to my own intuition, but tend to end up leaning more into an external/ internal system. When things are in reverse it's more of a looking inward and seeing how this applies to me more than external world.
We don't put up with that kind of shit in my house.
Making myself all kinds of anxious about what to cast. Doing this but what if people don't enjoy it game. It's the same thing every time. I tall myself out of doing things and teaching it to people time and time again. Feeling nervous about experiencing a new place.
I'm doing that thing where I write a post and delete it over and over again. Can't really find the right words and processing the feeling is taking a lot of time. The other person in this situation is showing more and more that they song understand me as a person adhd that they have a problem with my autistic traits.
This is quickly becoming my like dream. Not really sure if I'd ever be able to pull it off so things considered, but it's nice to think about.
Going through some of the hardest days of my life right now and all I want is to go back.
I am at odds as of late watching witchcraft and spirituality come more into the public eye. It's refreshing to see it more readily avalible, but I'm the same breath what information is being published?
These things are so personal and there is a lot of internal examination to do about what you feel or what you believe and I worry that so many books are going to be telling those newer to the practice what they should be thinking of feeling. And that really isn't the point as far as I am concerned.
These things are so personal and there is a lot of internal examination to do about what you feel or what you believe and I worry that so many books are going to be telling those newer to the practice what they should be thinking of feeling. And that really isn't the point as far as I am concerned.
The memorial for Seestor Imperitor. So lovely!
Time to learn a while new place! Really hoping to meet some people and have a good time.
